 |
By way of introduction, I will indulge in a brief history of the journey, which led me to my present state of comfort with my spiritual life. It is fulfilling and enriching; helping define the person I have become. The journey, however, may be considered 'whacky' by most standards, or by those with a more traditional background.
My Italian mother was raised as a Roman Catholic. My father, on the other hand, was raised in a very fundamental Southern 'Bible-belt' tradition. Mom did not feel the need to attend the Catholic Church, but found the fundamental church too confining. While they never reached a compromise, they encouraged us to find our own church home. As a child, then, something deep within led me to search for a church home.
Vacation Bible Schools and visits to numerous congregations ended with a membership and confirmation in the American Lutheran church. I know now that I must have driven our Pastor mad with questions. I had, after all, been exposed to so many and varied beliefs. After college
and the idealist's continued search for spiritual truths, and the inevitable search for my place in the universal fellowship of faith, I came back to my Pastor and introduced him to my future partner-in-life. I will never forget his pre-nuptial advice to us--open-minded and ecumenical--he counseled us to go to church together, whatever that denomination might be. So, this Lutheran and her Methodist became Presbyterians!
I will say here that the affiliation with a particular theological view is not the most important thing to me. Because of, or perhaps in spite of, my varied theological background, I was comfortable in whatever house of worship we were near when it was time to go. We took our children to services as varied and unrelated as possible, with the hope that a broader view of our spiritual selves would make an impact upon them. Generally, though, they were raised in the Presbyterian faith.
Before too long I began to notice, even in my very Democratic Presbyterian church, women provided the working arm of the church and, generally, men provided the leadership during worship. An Ecumenical Thanksgiving service in Santa Fe, where women, men, a priest and a rabbi shared in conducting the service, was the most enlightening organized service I had ever attended. What struck me most was the presence of women involved in a way I had not witnessed before. Before that, my most profound spiritual experience had been in solitary contemplation set in nature. During those times, I was a fully participating entity in my spiritual journey. I, after all, understood in the most fundamental ways what my life required in order to be fed by faith. Suddenly, now, I heard a woman speak to me.
On a recent trip to Italy I was further struck by art. Coming full circle, I spent countless days enjoying astonishing cathedrals full of the genius of art and architecture. And everywhere I went, there was Mary. Mary the woman. Mary the mother. Mary the wife. Mary in pain. Mary in ecstasy, in religious clothing, in the act of nursing her Child.
Fully aware of the male hierarchy of the Roman Catholic Church, I, nevertheless, was taken by the honored depictions of Mary. I felt included as a Christian woman as abundant paintings and sculptures of Mary reflected back understanding only another woman could reveal. And
contemplative men so exposed to her must surely be touched by what they see. As a feminist, Mary in all postures and emotions elevated women as spiritual compatriots in a very real and tangible way.
Further, there were women as saints standing shoulder to shoulder with male saints. I am not a student of the Catholic faith. In fact, I am decidedly ignorant of much of the theology of the church. As an appreciative bystander, however, it meant a great deal to me to see women revered as spiritual beings through art. And it is that isolated point of view that gave me pause to reflect and receive the spiritual lift that came from being, simply, included as a woman.
Now, you may wonder, what is the point of all of this? As women, we are raised to nurture those countless relationships that come our way. And with that nurturing comes understanding of how others feel, and how and why they might respond in the ways in which they do. Our lives, in fact, are a virtual training ground for assessing and responding to the needs of others. And though my life as a woman is a wonderful one (I live with three enlightened males, two of whom are sons), I know it is also important for me to have visible evidence that women are integral to the fellowship of our organized religious experiences. It is important for the males in my life as well.
As I continue this spiritual journey of mine, out of step as it may seem, I continue to find the most strength in solitary reflection. There have been strides made to include all races and both genders and a heightened tolerance for all faiths. Increasingly, though, I am uncomfortable with the lack of 'she' being coupled with 'he' in my church home. My spiritual life is strong, abiding and growing. As I watch my sons, and speak with young people from all over the world, I have great faith in the future.
I find it lamentable, however, that in 2002 women still must struggle to become more visible as Christians who broaden and include all of God's children. We have, after all, been raised with a set of circumstances different from our brothers and have a unique set of accumulated wisdom to impart. Until that awakening takes place in our churches, temples and synagogues, I will continue with worship that is in an organized setting and one that is private. The most comprehensive and encompassing of the two remains the latter.
My inner spiritual life, nurtured and guided by the lessons presented to me throughout my life-long search, has afforded me balance and perspective. Because of that balance, it is also the most spiritual.
Bio: Ms. Marvel has published articles in Collector's News; Writer's Guidelines Magazine; Fathers, Brothers, Sons magazine; Mothering Magazine; and Bitch magazine. She also writes poetry, and has been published in a number of anthologies. Upcoming publications include poetry in Our Journey; Once Upon a Time; Writer's Journal; and Mothering Magazine; and an article in Indy’s Child Magazine.
|
|
